It's been five weeks since I quit my job, moved into my new house and finally after waiting soo long, I get to focus on Smoke Tin Kitchen full time. It's almost exactly a year since I started the business and I'm only finally getting to experience what it means to live my life through it. It's everything now. It represents my future, it pays my bills and more importantly, it's an extension of who I am both as a person and chef.
In the last few weeks, I've been able to increase my productivity, take more bookings, sign a new lease on business premises and achieve a work balance that I've been craving for soo long. But with all the positives and highs today came the first real low. An admin error at an event led us to miss out on a great opportunity to showcase our food and ambition. It shouldn't be such a big deal. Shit happens, a genuine mistake, just one of those things. But tonight I feel fucking crushed. Like the business is apart of me and the feeling that, for the first time I guess, I can't separate me from it and that any defeat for the business is an even worse defeat for me.
Last night I lost to my girlfriend at Monopoly after a sold her a deal too good to be true and today this happened. If it wasn't for Dean on The Apprentice being even worse at business than me and getting the sack tonight I don't know I'd be able to recover. ( I can't believe I sold her Trafalgar Square that cheap).
I know everyone has good and bad days at work. I'm guessing I'm just going to have to get used to them feeling more personal when things don't go my way. This was an unexpected turn of events and it's kind of hit me for six. I'm still reeling a bit from it. Despite this set back there's still so much to look forward to the rest of the month. We have a couple of street food events at different locations, booking in some ongoing enquiries for next year as well as setting up the first Smoke Tin HQ which is going to transform the way we operate the business and really help drive us forward into next year. Followed by some well-earned downtime over the Christmas period.
I'm under no illusions. Business is hard, competitive and I know at times things aren't going to go my way. I just didn't realise how much it would affect me when it happens. There's no not taking work home because I am work. If that makes sense? Tomorrow is a new day though and hopefully, I can wake up with some positive vibes going, attack the day and get shit done!!
" The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" Raph Waldo Emerson
Amen